Attention swing dancers:

It is incredibly rude to break up two people that are dancing.

Granted, there are exceptions. During a swing jam, or during a designated steal dance, 'stealing' is appropriate and welcome. If you know both parties in the dance, or if you have a good reason, there may be a few other exceptions.

But it's not very likely.

One especially bothersome aspect of this is when two men dance. Most people wouldn't be rude enough to break up a guy and a girl, but for some reason many follows don't see any problem breaking up two guys dancing. I think that this is caused by the arrogant assumption that, based solely on gender, someone would rather dance with you than with their current partner.

It even seems that some girls fancy themselves as self-appointed 'dance police' and make it their mission to interrupt dances that they don't approve of.

I'm not sure how many other dancers feel this way, but I would like to share my personal point of view.

Please do not interrupt me while I'm dancing with anyone (guy or girl) without a really good reason.

If you do, I might let you know how I feel. But whether or not I even mention it, there is a very good chance that I will never dance with you again. Especially if I didn't know you before you interrupted my dance. Especially if you are a worse follow than the guy I was dancing with. Especially if I was enjoying the dance. Especially if you took only one of us and left the other to find a new partner.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Please share your thoughts.

May I add a huge AMEN to this. Thanks for posting that, BTC.

I'll add my AMEN!

Que asi sea.

bobthecow:

Attention swing dancers:

It is incredibly rude to break up two people that are dancing.

Granted, there are exceptions. During a swing jam, or during a designated steal dance, 'stealing' is appropriate and welcome. If you know both parties in the dance, or if you have a good reason, there may be a few other exceptions.

But it's not very likely.

One especially bothersome aspect of this is when two men dance. Most people wouldn't be rude enough to break up a guy and a girl, but for some reason many follows don't see any problem breaking up two guys dancing. I think that this is caused by the arrogant assumption that, based solely on gender, someone would rather dance with you than with their current partner.

It even seems that some girls fancy themselves as self-appointed 'dance police' and make it their mission to interrupt dances that they don't approve of.

I'm not sure how many other dancers feel this way, but I would like to share my personal point of view.

Please do not interrupt me while I'm dancing with anyone (guy or girl) without a really good reason.

If you do, I might let you know how I feel. But whether or not I even mention it, there is a very good chance that I will never dance with you again. Especially if I didn't know you before you interrupted my dance. Especially if you are a worse follow than the guy I was dancing with. Especially if I was enjoying the dance. Especially if you took only one of us and left the other to find a new partner.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Please share your thoughts.

T_roach:

I enjoyed our discssion on swingutah.com about this topic. I think we all agree these days.

hard to believe, but we all seem to agree a lot more on things than I can ever recall.

You must be a newcomer to Utah's swing forums, buzz.

I think your very right PTS, but is it cuz it's the BYU forum and not swing utah?

I think you just offended me buzz... Oh wait! That was me just being nostalgic of the swingutah.com cat fights. [Emoticon not found]

popthestack:

Buzz:

popthestack:

T_roach:

I enjoyed our discssion on swingutah.com about this topic. I think we all agree these days.

hard to believe, but we all seem to agree a lot more on things than I can ever recall.

Did anybody understand what PTS was trying to say? [Emoticon not found]

[Emoticon not found] Crap! I really slaughtered that, didn't I?

yep. you did.

apology accepted... but now you know [Emoticon not found]

I couldn't believe how often it was happening at the opening dance.

/disagree

I'm sorry, but it's just dance, not serious conversation.

when it gets to the point where you're losing your temper over it, incredulous about how often it's happening... it's in poor taste in my opinion, and the sentiment is apparent, and distasteful, detrimental to the dance environment, and the objective of promoting dance and attracting a larger pool of regular dancers (until they get married, minus exceptions) in utah at least

you want to dance uninterrupted with another guy, go on a man-date and dance all night together, unintterupted.

I understand your frustration, tis poor ettiqutte to cut in, but calm down and get over it, please.

thx.

oh yeah, and dance can be serious conversation, or better. it is just dance, and dance is better than most conversation.

traci:

just because they thought that you should be talking to them rather than the other person, you would get angry. that is exactly what happens during a steal. the stealer is in effect saying "you should dance with me rather than that other person...your dancing with them isn't as important as your dancing with me right now," which is very rude. gender has nothing to do with it.

Well said. Anytime you force your opinion on anyone else, whether it be stealing a partner when they through their own free will and choice mutally decided to dance with each other, or whether you're taking someone's money for the "common good," you are literally a tyrant and are no better than hitler or stalin.

Overreacting? Whatever.

spence was on team last year... hasn't been on the forums in a bit.

welcome back, spence!

New Rule: If a girl tries to cut in on a dance between men, either partner has the right to try to trip her and make her fall on her face. Good rule? Yeah, I thought so.

Ladies, if a guy is choosing to dance with another guy instead of you, it's not because he didn't see you or because he's gay; it's because you comparatively suck and that's sad. Go home. Learn to dance. Come back. Clear enough?

the specific instance that prompted chewie to resurrect this thread (afaik) was an interesting one. i was leading at the time, and we were having a good dance. when i realized that a girl was trying to cut in, i blocked her three or four times, giving her, i felt, ample opportunity to back down. i prob'ly even indicated my displeasure via facial expression. but she was persistant... and ended up forcing her way into the dance. it wasn't even a fun steal. it was just kinda awkward.

how can i stop this from happening without making a scene? how do you tell a dancer that they are being rude without being rude yourself?

And just to reiterate, these are my own strong opinions, and they are probably not shared by most males in our swing community. None of this is intended to insult beginners or those who are constantly improving themselves; if I sense that you are making a reasonable effort to get better like all of us should be doing, I won't likely be avoiding you.

I am mainly expressing extreme frustration for those who are "just having fun" at the expense of their partners, and I have observed this problem most in the females. If you think you don't need lessons or that you are good enough to have a good time, you probably need some work. If I tend to ask you to dance often or try to find you for a dance whenever I see you, you are probably doing something right. It's not a sin to be a beginner, but it is a sin to stay a beginner. For those of you who are ever improving, keep up the good work.

Just FYI, Cheri has permission to cut in on me whenever she wants [Emoticon not found]

That being said, I agree with most of the above. And I reiterate Boog's question: why don't we see more follows learning to lead?

well, since i'm the only girl that seems to be posting lately...at least regularly, i'll give my opinions.

leads who don't ever get better: it annoys me. especially when i know they have natural talent up the kazoo, but they don't think that taking dancing to the next level is worth their time/money, or they're only their to be social and they leave once they start dating. i've tried the "girls like you more if you're a great dancer," but it doesn't usually work. [Emoticon not found] it annoys me even more when they aren't seriously studying dance but think they know everything and complain that some girls can't follow them. (not referring to anyone specifically). i want to say "no, it's because you can't lead," but i'm too nice to say that to someone's face.

why i don't lead: i'm a pansy. i might give it a go again once i move back. we'll see. i'm working on my blues lead, but it's hard to take the beginner lessons as a lead when there are more leads than follows to start out with. and when i do lead during lessons, i can't tell if i'm doing it right since all of the follows are new as well, and don't know how to follow. that and i'm a pansy and i'm too chicken to ask girls to dance if i don't know them.

lindysquare:

As I rarely post and not many people know me well, I should explain that although I am serious about what I've said, it's not meant to be taken seriously....btw, first person to identify me gets a gold star. I have silver too, for those who prefer being mediocre.

Hmm... Does your name start with a J?

*pop-swing: a term I made up that describes the music and dancing one can find at most utah swing dances. A mix of popular music from the 50's through the 90's, which may include jazz.

Most? Recently? In the past? At BYU? Throughout the state? The only pop music (20s-90s) I play is occasional rockabilly from the early 50s, a select collection from the 30s-40s (since most pop music from the 30-40s sounds like Kay Kayser), and ... Hmmm... I'll have to think about that some more.

do i just post who lindysquare is for the gold star? or does bobthecow get it because he hinted that he knew?

that's why i don't post on the forums a whole lot, justin, some harsh reactions
"don't tell me not to get mad when i get frustrated."
"Anytime you force your opinion on anyone else...you are literally a tyrant and are no better than hitler or stalin."
"um"
"Go home. Learn to dance. Come back. Clear enough?"
wtf.

Thanks Boog for steering thread and everybody into a new direction. you can tell he's a good lead.

the thing about online forums is.. everyone's all talk. i wouldn't take 99% of the comments on here seriously. a lot of people overreact on purpose (just to start an argument), and a lot of comments get read in a diferent emotion then they are intended. so take everything with a grain of salt and yell back. [Emoticon not found]

spencewebb:

that's why i don't post on the forums a whole lot, justin, some harsh reactions

popthestack:

Anytime you force your opinion on anyone else...you are literally a tyrant and are no better than hitler or stalin.

that's alright... pops was automatically disqualified by the first corrollary to godwin's law

i'm sorry the board's doesn't feel more welcoming, spence. i guess i just use the old cat fights on swingutah for reference, and all this seems tame [Emoticon not found]

i can't speak for everyone else, but i value your opinion. stick with it and teach all of us heathens a lesson or two about manners...

popthestack:

Others have stated that they avoid those who break up their dancing. I avoid people who suggest that their opinions are more important than mine.

but my opinions are more important than yours. that's why i have magic buttons next to all your posts!

[edit: buzz has been sacked...]

yeah... so there!! Anyway.. I think the point is.. some people want to have good dances wether its male or female. In most if not all cases it seems to me that the leads posting here prefer to dance with other males who follow better than our female follows do.. and they find it annoying that people cut in between them... sometimes when I see this happening I wonder if people are being Homophobic... perhaps people think "hey these two guys are GAY!! and they are showing it in Public.. at BYU!!!.. this must be stopped!! at all cost" so maybe this is why you guys get your dances interrupted... [Emoticon not found] [Emoticon not found] Now I'm not saying I think that... but someone might.. But I think some follows might take offense to some things being said on the forum so publicly.. like go home and learn to dance or whatever was said... I think the same could be said about the large portion of the Utah leads.. which I already kind of said in a previous post.. I think I am talking all Lindy and nothing else in this matter, and seeing as how I just got back from an incredible Lindy Hop event.. I really see very few people myself included qualified enough to say publicly that we have quite a large majority of bad follows or leads... so I retract my previous statement of the bad lead comment.. publicly anyway. hee hee..

And finally... anyone who publicly says you all are a bunch of bad leads and follows should be able to back it up.. publicly yes?? So you know what this calls for......

CHALLENGE!!!!!!!!!..... any follow want to take the challenge to the Lindy Hop dance floor against a lead who follows, an all out challenge Jam style to all three tempos... Freedom, Revolution.. and Liberation...Two male leads dancing together against a Male lead and a Female Follow yes??? who is up for it..

C'mon... time to put your money where your mouth is...